I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
