I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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