hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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