Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize