I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
