have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
