Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
