Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
