He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
