it was like his penis was on wheels.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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