Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
