I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
smell my finger.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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