She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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