marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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