I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
where does the pee come out of this thing
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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