i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
