Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
