on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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