what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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