What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
