My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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