Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
