I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
