If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
