I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
