i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize
