you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
