Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
