Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
well you can't waste a boner
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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