....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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