I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
