she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
