She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
