I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
