I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
