I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
