She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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