Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize