I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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