I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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