i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
