# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
