you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
