i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
