Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The uberlube is also flammable
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You ruined the universe
Randomize