So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm bleeding and have questions
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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