Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
