I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
