Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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