I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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