What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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