i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
fuck your aforementioned shoe
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
