How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
