When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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