I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
