He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
