There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she told me i tasted like america
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
