i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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