Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I enjoy the company of your penis
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
