i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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