Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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